Move over, perfectionist, we’re having fun with Spanglish - Thursday, October 13, 2011:

                Early Saturday morning, we departed lovely Lisbon, flew back to Madrid and took the bus home to Bilbao. Our papers were due via email Sunday at 8:00pm, and both Jess and I needed to work with our groups, editing and adding final touches. 
 

                Sunday morning my group and I planned to meet at Deusto's library, but our plan hit an unexpected bump when we realized the school library was closed on Sundays. Silly us! We must have forgotten we were in Spain for a moment… We laughed both at our mistake and at the culture clash, then headed to the nearby mall, Zubiarte. There – gasp! - the food court is open on Sundays. So, our afternoon was spent working on our paper amid the delightful ambiance of McDonald’s, Burger King, and Pan y Company (a Spanish fast food chain)

            The paper was an analysis of the EU document “Green Paper of 6 March 2008 on the Effective Enforcement of Judgments in the European Union: the Transparency of Debtors' Assets.” Each of us wrote a section, which seemed straightforward enough, but an unexpected challenge arose in making the group writing coherent and clear. Now, I say all of this with only the utmost respect for my classmates, but in editing the paper, I literally had to translate their English into … English. An example: we started with “Going further by building a central commercial registers rules out the possibility of harmonizing the common elements involved” and edit it down to “Building a central commercial register would further achieve the goals of the Green Paper and eliminate the necessity of harmonizing the laws.”

             I really can’t blame them and I can’t even imagine how difficult this work must be with a language barrier thrown in. I truly admire my classmates’ language abilities - in English and otherwise. One of my Albanian classmates speaks five different languages fluently. My Spanish, in contrast, is valiant y bastante (and sufficient), but leaves much to be desired. I certainly couldn't write a technical paper in Spanish - it takes me 20 minutes to draft a three line note to my roommate! In fact, I think my adventures in Spanish have both been the most and least enjoyable parts of my time here thus far. I love learning languages: the different sounds, the different structures, the different expressions. But as much as I love studying the Spanish language, it's a whole new ballgame for me to actually put it into daily practice. The perfectionist in my shakes in my boots everytime I have a new conversation! Take, for example, my very first conversation in Spanish. In my head, it went something like this:

            At the customs window / passport check in Madrid:

            Dialogue in my head: OK, Kate, you got this. Just listen carefully. He probably speaks English anyways. But you got this, you got this, go for the Spanish, go for the Spanish, go for the…

            Customs Officer: Hola

            Me: Hola

            My head: Yesssss, You understood! You got this! Just keep it up. Keep it up. Keep up the good work!

            Customs Officer: Adonde vas?

            Me: Bilbao.

            My head: Holy S**t another one!! I'm on a rollllllllllllll! Yeah! Don’t stop now!

            Customs officer: irehaksnzdivzlgh hguiranf BF iOS Giles hojfrdoj

            Me: huh?

            My head: Shit.

            And then we switch to English.

And so, the perfectionist blushes a bit and has to admit imperfection; inevitably, I'm not going to understand something, or I'm going to say something incorrectly. At first, I really struggled with this barrier and even shied away from connecting with people. But, as I become more and more comfortable both here and with my Spanish, I'm ok with looking like a fool, um, I mean,...  sounding like a second grader- I mean ... being a tourist. Take, for example, the time I asked for te helado instead of te hielo - tea ice cream instead of iced tea. I only realized my mistake afterwards and could do nothing but laugh and accept myself. Sometimes, I'll say something in Spanish, and the person will respond in English. Simultaneously, it’s a relief and a frustration. I'm glad to be able to communicate freely, but I'm disappointed and wanting to practice! Ultimately, I think having to shed my language perfectionism will be a huge lesson for me and one I feel lucky to be having. But, for someone whose self image is defined around intelligence, it can be a bitter pill to swallow. And, it's certainly given me a new appreciation for anyone who has patience with non-native English speakers. When I return to the States, you can be sure I’ll be one of those people.